You might not know this, but chances are you are living under one of the happiness myths that society has led you to believe.
It's easy to get caught up in the idea that material possessions, success, or the perfect relationship will bring us happiness, but the reality is often far from it. These myths can leave us feeling disappointed and unfulfilled, constantly searching for something that we may never find.
But there is hope. By recognising these myths and taking action to break free from them, we can create a life filled with true happiness and contentment.
When I first started reading about positive psychology, it changed my whole perspective and outlook on life. But over time, I noticed that I had to break free from many misconceptions and beliefs to get to where I'm at now.
So, today I want to talk about the many myths and misconceptions that we have about happiness, and what it means to break through these misconceptions and to embrace the true concept of happiness.
Myth Number One: Happiness Equals Feeling Pleasure All The Time
When you first begin to delve in to the topic of happiness, it can seem overwhelming and complex, but you'll soon find out that it is a multifactorial concept that consists of three core factors.
These factors can be compared to as your macronutrients in food. So, just as food consist of proteins, carbohydrates and fat, happiness consists of enjoyment, purpose and satisfaction. And we all need these three components for a well-rounded and happy life.
However, many people believe that the key to happiness is feeling pleasure all the time or experiencing positive emotions only. This is why so many people always chase that dopamine rush by buying new stuff, going out on the weekends, or eating more than they should.
But the truth is that life is not always easy or pleasant, and negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and frustration are a natural part of the human experience. It's simply impossible to feel pleasure all the time, and trying to do so can actually lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and burnout.
In fact, research suggests that experiencing a mix of positive and negative emotions can actually lead to greater well-being and life satisfaction in the long run. This is because overcoming challenges and experiencing a sense of accomplishment and growth can be just as rewarding as experiencing pleasure and enjoyment.
So, learning to accept and embrace the full range of emotions is an important aspect of achieving true happiness.
This means acknowledging that negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and frustration are a natural and necessary part of life, and that trying to avoid them can actually lead to more suffering.
It's also important to learn healthy ways to cope with these emotions and use them as opportunities for growth and self-reflection.
This might involve talking to a trusted friend or therapist about your feelings, engaging in physical activity to release pent-up energy, or practicing mindfulness and meditation to develop a more accepting and non-judgmental relationship with your thoughts and emotions.
So the myth that happiness equals feeling pleasure all the time is an unrealistic idea that can actually prevent us from achieving true happiness. By accepting the full range of emotions that come with life and focusing on meaningful experiences and relationships, we can cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling sense of happiness, which brings me to myth number two.
Myth Number Two: Happiness Is Dependent On External Factors
Often times people think that happiness is dependent on external factors, such as money, success and material possessions.
However, research shows that, once basic needs such as food, shelter, and safety are met, additional income and material possessions have little impact on a person's sense of well-being.
For instance, one study by Daniel Kahneman, found that once a person's annual income reaches around $75,000, additional income has little to no impact on a person's overall happiness levels. This also counts for social status and material possessions.
When I realised this that buying new things, or climbing the corporate or for me the academic ladder, won't actually bring me more happiness, my perspective changed on how I approach things in life.
For instance, whenever I have this urge to buy something new, or when I have to make a decision regarding work, I ask myself the question whether it will truly add to my happiness.
Often times the answer is no, and having to answer this question, stops me from making radical decisions or buying things that I know won't actually make me any happier, which has probably saved me a lot of money too.
So while money, success or material possessions may provide temporary feelings of happiness or pleasure, they don't contribute to a lasting sense of happiness.
Instead, the majority of a person's sense of well-being is influenced by internal factors such as their mindset, personality traits, and social relationships.
For example, research has shown that people who have a growth mindset - a belief that their abilities and skills can be developed through hard work and dedication - tend to have higher levels of well-being than those with a fixed mindset - those who think intelligence, talent, and other qualities are innate and unchangeable.
Likewise, strong social connections and a sense of belonging have been shown to be critical for overall well-being. People who have supportive social networks tend to be happier and healthier than those who are socially isolated.
So, instead of focusing on materialistic things or earning more money, we should focus on internal factors, such as making sure we spend our money on experiences, rather then a new phone, and doing work that aligns with our core values and where we can make a contribution to serving others and helping the community.
Myth Number Three: Happiness Is A Natural State Of Human Beings
The third myth – which is closely related to the first two – is the idea that if you’re not happy, there must be something wrong with you.
However, the truth is that happiness is not a default state. In fact, humans are not wired to be happy or even content at all. Humans are simply designed to survive and reproduce, just like any other animal.
So, by saying that everyone should be happy all the time, we're actually creating this impossible standard that can never be met and have people believe that if they're not happy, something must be wrong with them - that there's a defect.
This false belief can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or self-doubt, and may also create pressure to hide or suppress authentic emotions, which then can have adverse effects on our mental health and overall well-being.
As I mentioned before, humans are capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions, both positive and negative, and happiness is just one of them.
So, it's perfectly okay not to be happy all the time. It doesn't make you defective or abnormal. Instead, strive for a life that nurtures your well-being and happiness, while acknowledging the full range of emotions that make us human, by doing more of the things that genuinely makes you happy.