Most people think happiness is something that just happens—something that's influenced by the world around us. We wait for a promotion, a bigger house, or the perfect vacation, assuming those things will finally make us happy. But the truth is, happiness isn't a result of external achievements. It's a skill, a habit you can cultivate.
In this article, we'll explore three practical strategies you can start using today to build a happier life.
1. Understanding The Happiness Equation
The fHappiness Equation is a simple yet powerful formula:
Happiness is equal to or greater than the events of your life, minus your expectations of how life should be.
This idea comes from Mo Gawdat, the former Chief Business Officer of Google X, in his book Solve for Happy. It highlights a crucial point: much of our unhappiness comes not from the events themselves but from the expectations we place on those events.
Think about it. How often do you feel upset because something didn’t meet your expectations? We all try to control reality, yet reality is often beyond our control. But what we can control are our expectations.
To increase happiness, the trick is to lower your expectations—not in a way that discourages ambition, but in a way that keeps your sense of contentment anchored to the present. When your expectations are too high, even good outcomes can feel like disappointments. But when you balance realistic expectations with openness to surprise, you leave room for happiness to emerge more easily.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't have goals or dreams. You can be ambitious and still enjoy the journey by loosening your attachment to specific outcomes. The key is to find balance: set goals, but don't let unmet expectations steal your joy.
2. Living in the Present Moment
Too often, we treat life as a warm-up act, always waiting for the "main event." We tell ourselves that happiness will come after we achieve something—after the promotion, the new house, or the perfect relationship. But when we tie our happiness to future milestones, we miss out on what’s right in front of us.
Happiness doesn’t come from the next big thing; it comes from noticing the small joys that happen every day. Whether it’s enjoying a walk, having a conversation with a friend, or simply sipping your morning coffee, happiness lives in the present.
When you bring your attention to the present moment, you’re better equipped to appreciate life as it happens. Instead of waiting for happiness to arrive "someday," you can find it here and now. It’s not about giving up on future goals, but about realizing that you don’t have to wait for them to be happy.
The real power of living in the present is that it frees you from the mental clutter of "what if" scenarios and future worries. By focusing on the now, you can experience a deeper, richer life, filled with moments of joy that don’t depend on external achievements.
3. Practicing Gratitude
One of the most powerful tools for lasting happiness is practicing gratitude. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you already have. It’s a simple but effective way to counter the dissatisfaction that comes from comparing your life to others.
One famous study illustrates this well: bronze medalists often report higher levels of happiness than silver medalists. Why? Because bronze medalists are grateful for having won a medal at all, while silver medalists often focus on the fact that they didn’t win gold. It’s all about perspective.
This is where the "Look Down Principle" comes in. Instead of always looking up—comparing yourself to people who have more—take a moment to look down and appreciate how far you’ve come. Reflect on the progress you’ve made, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the opportunities you’ve been given. Gratitude turns what you have into enough.
The easiest way to practice gratitude is to make it a daily habit. Each night before bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be grand or life-changing—small things, like a good conversation or a nice meal, are enough. Over time, this simple practice rewires your brain to focus on the positive aspects of your life, creating a lasting sense of contentment.