We all experience moments in life when we feel stuck. It’s that feeling or state where we have a powerful urge to make progress on something, but at the same time, an equally compelling force that keeps us rooted in place.
Take starting a business, for example. You might dream of working for yourself, but the comfort of your 9-to-5 job provides financial security. The need for a steady income keeps you rooted, and the fear of uncertainty, doubt, and guilt prevents you from taking the leap.
Or maybe it’s a relationship. You know it’s not making you happy, but you can’t imagine life without it. So, you stay. The familiar feels safer, even though it’s making you miserable.
In both cases, there’s a gap between what you want and what you do, and the wider that gap gets, the more stuck you feel. The key is understanding the two main reasons you remain stuck. Once you address these, you can begin to take action and move forward.
Negative Thought Patterns
Negative thought patterns can have a profound impact on your mental well-being. The way you think shapes the way you perceive the world, and when these thoughts turn negative, they can trigger a cascade of emotions like anxiety, fear, and sadness. Over time, these emotions fuel negative behaviours—avoidance, procrastination, and even self-sabotage.
Consider this: if you want to escape your 9-to-5 job and start a business, but you keep telling yourself, “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed,” it’s no surprise that you’ll struggle to take action. Why would you put in the effort if you’re convinced from the outset that failure is inevitable? It’s easier to stay where you are, in the comfort of your routine, rather than risk trying something new and failing.
These negative thoughts are like a virus—they spread quickly and quietly, creating a cycle that keeps you stuck. Each time you focus on the obstacles in front of you, you reinforce the belief that your situation is hopeless. And as this cycle repeats, it becomes harder to see opportunities or solutions. You become fixated on your limitations, and this mindset can prolong the feeling of being stuck.
But here’s the key: negative thought patterns are just that—patterns. And like any pattern, they can be broken.
Let’s break down a few common negative thought patterns that might be keeping you stuck:
- All-or-nothing thinking: This is the mindset that tells you things have to be perfect or they’re not worth doing at all. If you believe, “If I can’t do something perfectly, I shouldn’t bother doing it,” you’ll avoid taking any steps forward. The reality is that progress is rarely perfect. The most successful people know how to embrace small wins and incremental growth. You don’t need to get everything right; you just need to start.
- Catastrophising: This is when you expect the worst possible outcome and believe it will be unbearable. For example, “If I try and fail, it will be a complete disaster.” This kind of thinking blows potential setbacks out of proportion, making it seem like failure is not just possible but inevitable—and devastating. But most failures are learning opportunities, not disasters. By shifting your mindset to see failure as a step in the process, you can take action with less fear.
- Tunnel vision: In this pattern, you focus only on the negatives and ignore any positives. It sounds like this: “My life is miserable, and nothing is going right.” When you’re trapped in tunnel vision, your brain zeroes in on what’s wrong, magnifying problems and minimising solutions. To break free, it’s crucial to broaden your perspective. Look for what’s going well, however small, and use that as a foundation to build on.
- Shoulds and musts: These are the rigid rules we impose on ourselves and others. You might think, “I should have my life figured out by now,” or “My partner must support me no matter what.” These thoughts create unrealistic expectations and set you up for disappointment. Life doesn’t always follow a straight line, and progress doesn’t come on a set timeline. By letting go of these rigid rules, you free yourself to grow at your own pace.
Each of these thought patterns limits your ability to move forward. They keep you focused on perfection, fear, and unrealistic expectations, which only reinforce the feeling of being stuck.
The good news is, you can change how you think. It won’t happen overnight, but by recognising these patterns, you create space for new, more empowering thoughts. And once you do that, you’ll start to see opportunities where there were once only obstacles. The gap between where you are and where you want to be will begin to close, and instead of feeling stuck, you’ll feel ready to take the next step.
Feeling Overwhelmed
When we encounter intense emotions like fear or overwhelm, our brain’s natural response is to switch into survival mode, commonly known as the fight-or-flight response. This automatic reaction triggers a cascade of physical and mental changes designed to protect us from danger. Your heart rate spikes, blood pressure rises, and breathing quickens. At the same time, your ability to think clearly and make decisions begins to fade.
In this state, it’s easy to feel stuck. The brain prioritises safety over progress, often favouring familiar patterns and behaviours. Rather than taking bold steps towards a goal, you might avoid difficult tasks or freeze up entirely. The fear of failure or making the wrong choice becomes more powerful than the desire for growth or success.
For example, imagine you’ve set a goal to make a career change. You’re excited about the possibilities, but the moment things get tough or uncertain, your brain shifts into protection mode. Instead of moving forward, you might retreat into your comfort zone, choosing to stick with the status quo, even though it’s not fulfilling. The same cycle happens in other areas of life—whether it’s tackling a challenging project, starting a new habit, or making a difficult decision. The urge to avoid discomfort often outweighs the drive to take action.
This creates a feedback loop: the more you hesitate or avoid action, the more you reinforce the brain’s preference for safety. Over time, this can lead to feelings of helplessness or hopelessness. You want to change, but your brain keeps pulling you back into the same old routines, which makes it feel like progress is impossible.
But here’s the thing: while this fight-or-flight response is automatic, it’s not unchangeable. You can train your brain to respond differently:
- The first step is awareness. Recognising when your fight-or-flight response is being triggered helps you pause before reacting. Instead of letting fear dictate your actions, you can choose how to respond. Simple techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or taking a short break can help calm your nervous system, giving you space to think more clearly.
- The second step is to break your goals down into smaller, manageable tasks. When you’re overwhelmed, even a small step forward can feel like progress. Each action you take, no matter how small, helps retrain your brain to focus on movement rather than avoidance.
- Lastly, practice self-compassion. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you feel stuck, but it’s important to remember that this is a natural human response. The key is to give yourself grace and keep moving forward, even if progress feels slow.
By learning how to manage overwhelming emotions, you gain control over the situation, rather than letting it control you. Over time, this not only reduces the feeling of being stuck but also builds resilience, making it easier to face future challenges with confidence.
References
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- Harvard University. Identifying Negative Automatic Thought Patterns [Internet]. Cambridge (MA): Harvard University (US). Available from: https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/cognitive-reappraisal/identifying-negative-automatic-thought-patterns
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