March 23, 2025 | #32 | read on The Happier Studio | Free Version
Welcome to The Happier Newsletter, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life.
What’s On Today
- When Your Dreams No Longer Fit
- The Price of Chasing Your Dreams
- The Evolving Dreams Exercise
When Your Dreams No Longer Fit
We’re often told to “follow our dreams,” but what if the dream we started with no longer feels right? The truth is, dreams aren’t static—they evolve as we grow. Clinging to an outdated dream can keep us stuck, while being open to change allows us to move toward something even better.
Instead of asking, What do I want?, ask, Who am I becoming? Your dreams should align with your values, strengths, and the kind of life you want to build—not just a goal you set years ago. Pay attention to what excites you now, what challenges energise you, and where you naturally feel pulled.
The best dreams are adaptable. They shift with new experiences, lessons, and insights. Instead of chasing a fixed destination, focus on creating a vision that allows for growth. Sometimes, the best version of your dream is the one you haven't even imagined yet.
Here’s how to refine, redefine, or even completely change your dreams so they align with who you are today:
Step 1: Reflect on What’s Changed
Think back to when you first set your dream. Why did you want it? Was it because of external influences, societal expectations, or an old version of yourself? If your dream no longer excites you, it’s time to reassess.
For example, if you once dreamed of becoming a lawyer because it seemed prestigious, but now you realise you value creativity and autonomy more, that’s a sign your aspirations have evolved.
Take time to journal about your current interests, values, and what excites you today. If your dream doesn’t align with these anymore, it may be time for a change.
Step 2: Identify What Still Resonates
Even if your dream no longer fits, some parts of it may still be meaningful. Look for common threads between your past aspirations and your current passions. What aspects still excite you?
For instance, if you once wanted to start a business but don’t love managing operations, you might still enjoy creating and sharing ideas. Maybe consulting, content creation, or freelancing is a better fit.
By identifying the why behind your original dream, you can reshape it into something that still brings you fulfillment.
Step 3: Experiment with Small Steps
Changing dreams doesn’t mean taking a drastic leap overnight. Instead, start with small, low-risk steps to test out new directions.
- Take an online course in a field that excites you.
- Start a side project that aligns with your evolving interests.
- Shadow or interview people who are doing work you admire.
For example, if you once wanted to be a doctor but now question the lifestyle, try volunteering in a healthcare setting or talking to professionals in the field. These small experiments can help clarify whether a new direction is right for you.
Step 4: Redefine Success on Your Terms
Many of us hold onto dreams because they’ve become tied to our identity. We think letting go means failure, but in reality, success isn’t about rigidly sticking to an old goal—it’s about creating a life that aligns with what truly matters to you.
Ask yourself: Am I pursuing this because I genuinely want it, or because I feel like I should?
For example, if your original dream was to climb the corporate ladder but you now prioritise work-life balance, success might mean finding a role that offers flexibility rather than a high-status title.
True success isn’t about reaching a specific milestone—it’s about feeling fulfilled in your daily life.
Step 5: Set a New Vision and Commit to Growth
Once you have a clearer idea of what excites you, start shaping a new vision. Set small, flexible goals that keep you moving forward.
Instead of saying, I must achieve X by age 30, shift your mindset to I want to build a life that allows me to do meaningful work while enjoying the process.
Your dreams should be a compass, not a cage. If they no longer fit, give yourself permission to evolve. The most meaningful paths are often the ones we never expected to take.
The Price of Chasing Your Dreams
We’re told to follow our dreams, but no one talks about the cost. Here are four hard truths about chasing your dreams that no one talks about.
- You Must Leave Comfort Behind. Big dreams require stepping into the unknown. At first, it’s thrilling—then reality sets in. Familiar routines no longer fit, security fades, and fear creeps in. Growth and comfort can’t coexist. You can stay where it’s safe or take the leap—but not both.
- Not Everyone Will Understand. Some people won’t support your journey. They’ll question your choices, distance themselves, or fail to see your vision. It hurts, but remember—your dreams are yours, not theirs. The right people will show up when you stay true to your path.
- Progress Will Feel Too Slow. Most quit because they expect fast results. You’ll work for months (or years) with little to show for it. The key? Keep showing up. One small step daily leads to massive change over time.
- You Will Fail—A Lot. Failure isn’t a sign to stop; it’s proof you’re in the game. Every setback teaches you something valuable. The most successful people aren’t the ones who never fail—they’re the ones who fail, learn, and keep going.
Dreams don’t die because they’re impossible—they die because people stop trying. The ones who succeed aren’t always the most talented. They’re the ones who refuse to quit.
The Evolving Dreams Exercise
This week, set aside 10 minutes to reflect on how your dreams have changed. Ask yourself:
🔹 What was my biggest dream five years ago?
🔹 Does that dream still excite me? Why or why not?
🔹 What parts of it still resonate, and what no longer fits?
🔹 What new experiences or interests have shaped my vision for the future?
Then, take one small step toward aligning your life with where you want to go next—whether it’s exploring a new skill, having a conversation with someone in a field you admire, or simply letting go of an outdated goal.
Growth isn’t about clinging to the past; it’s about making space for what’s next.
