Welcome to The Happier Newsletter, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life.
What’s On Today
- Topic: Stop Trying To Become Somebody That Your Not
- Why: The Importance Of Being Yourself
- Framework: 3 Steps To Being Yourself
Stop Trying To Become Somebody That Your Not
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, it's easy to lose sight of who we truly are amidst the noise of societal expectations and personal aspirations.
We often find ourselves chasing after a mirage, a version of ourselves that seems unattainable, distant, and out of reach.
But what if I told you that the key to fulfilment lies not in becoming someone else, but in embracing your true self?
The Importance Of Being Yourself
Over the last two years, I've really taken the time to reflect upon myself, and think about who I want to be as a person and what I want out of life.
After I graduated from my Masters by Research in Health Sciences, I was fortunate enough to get offered a job straight out of University. And in all honousty, it was the best feeling ever - all my hard work finally paid off.
However, soon after I started, thoughts of doubt started to creep in. Doubts about my future, about whether or not I had picked the right career.
I was just kind of lost and didn't know what to do, which was very unusual for me. I’ve always been someone who just knows what she wants.
But this time, all of the sudden I just felt anxious and depressed when thinking about my future as all the dreams I once had, were just slowly fading away.
This forced me to look within myself. To truly ask myself the following questions:
- Who am I?
- Who do I want to be?
- What are my values?
- What do I want out of life?
It was a really confusing time. A time where I had to slowly peel back the layers, layer after layer.
But it was also a time that ultimately led me to embrace my authentic self and reclaim my aspirations. Because, as I was peeling back all these layers, I realised that I hadn’t been honest with myself and was living someone else’s life.
So, I had to really confront the discrepancies between the person I thought I had to be and the person I truly am.
3 Steps To Being Yourself
1. Get Clear On Why You Feel Lost
A first step would be to identify why you feel lost, anxious or perhaps even depressed. In most cases, it’s because there’s a discrepancy between your expectations and your reality.
This means that you have a certain image in your mind of how your life is supposed to be or who you should be. But in reality, your life is not going according to plan or you’re not who you think you should be.
We also often only see ourselves through someone else’s eyes - that is, how we think other people see us.
So, ask yourself:
- How do I think other people see me?
- Am I genuinely the way that I think people see me?
- Who am I from my point of view?
2. Figure Out What You Really Want And Take Action
Setting aside societal’s expectations: What is it that you actually want out of your life?
Most people would probably say something along the lines of: I want to be happy and healthy, and live a life I don’t regret.
So what is it that you can do today to get closer to that ultimate goal?
To give you an example:
I want to help as many people as I can in my life. To me this means sharing information on how to live a happier and more meaningful life.
I like to do this by sharing information in a creative way, such as writing and creating videos.
So, one thing I can do today, is to simply sit down for 30 minutes and do some writing (like I’m writing this now). Or I can edit a short video or research new topics I’m interested in by reading 10 pages of a book.
There are lot’s of little things you can do today to make yourself happier and live a life that you want. But you need to know what it is that you really want first and then take action to do them on a daily basis.
3. Identify Negative Self-Talk
One of the things that is often holding us back to becoming the person we want to be, is our negative self-talk.
Within our minds, there exists a constant stream of inner dialogue, often discouraging us from embracing our genuine selves.
Consider moments when we may judge ourselves harshly, such as feeling unattractive or discontented with our lives, triggered by images on television or social media.
Alternatively, we might interpret a friend's social media post featuring a gathering we weren't part of as a sign of rejection.
It's imperative that we silence these detrimental self-assessments. Otherwise, we'll perpetually lack the confidence needed to embrace our authentic selves.
