January 19, 2025 | #23 | read on The Happier Studio | Free Version
Welcome to The Happier Newsletter, a weekly newsletter where I provide actionable ideas to help you build a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life.
What’s On Today
- The Power Of A Scary Step: How Courage Unlocks Change
- How To Use Fear As A Guide
- The Regret Test: Will You Wish You’d Tried?
- 3 Things I’m Grateful For This Week
The Power Of A Scary Step: How Courage Unlocks Change
Have you ever felt paralysed by the sheer size of a goal or dream? Maybe it’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but the path to get there feels uncertain, overwhelming, or even terrifying.
I can relate to that feeling. Over the past few years, I’ve taken several life-changing leaps—whether it was attending a camp in the USA for the first time, studying on the opposite side of the country, or moving halfway across the world. Each of those moments taught me that courage doesn’t mean having no fear; it means taking action despite it.
If you’re standing at the edge of your own leap, wondering how to start, here are 5 practical steps I’ve learned to help you take that first step and build the momentum you need.
1. The Power of Tiny Steps
Big dreams are inspiring, but they can also be paralysing. When you look at the finish line, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by how far away it seems. The secret? Stop focusing on the finish line and just take the first step. The smaller the step, the easier it is to start.
For example, if you want to write a book, don’t think about writing 50,000 words—start by writing 50. If you want to get fit, don’t aim for a 5K run on day one; lace up your shoes and take a 5-minute walk. Tiny steps not only make the task less daunting but also help you build confidence with each small success.
2. Schedule Action: Make Time for What Matters
The truth is, life is full of distractions—work, social obligations, and endless to-do lists. That’s why you need to actively schedule time to work on your goals.
Pick a specific time each day or week to take deliberate steps toward your dream. Whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour, treat this time as an appointment with yourself. Block it off in your calendar, just like you would for a meeting or a doctor’s visit. Once it’s there, guard that time fiercely. Turn off your notifications, let your family or colleagues know you’re unavailable, and dive into focused work.
You don’t have to wait for “the perfect time” to start—because you’ve already made the time.
3. Progress Over Perfection
It’s not about doing a lot in one day and then burning out—it’s about showing up regularly, even if you only make small progress each time. Think of it as watering a plant: a little bit of water every day will make it grow, but a one-time flood won’t.
The key is to be consistent and set realistic expectations for yourself. Maybe you commit to spending 15 minutes each day learning a new skill, or you block out one hour every Sunday to reflect on your goals.
The compounding effect of consistency is powerful. Over weeks, months, and years, those small actions accumulate into massive results.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
We often wait until the end of a project or goal to celebrate, but the journey is just as important as the destination (and arguably even more important). Celebrating small wins along the way keeps you motivated, reinforces your progress, and makes the process more enjoyable.
For instance, if you’ve committed to exercising more, reward yourself after completing your first week of workouts by taking a massage. If you’re working on a creative project, treat yourself to something fun after hitting a milestone. These rewards don’t have to be extravagant—sometimes, a moment of recognition or a small treat is all it takes to feel good about your progress.
5. Find Strength in Connection
Keeping your goals to yourself can feel safer, but it also makes it easier to back out when things get hard. Sharing your dreams with others—whether it’s a close friend, family member, or supportive community—adds a layer of accountability and encouragement.
When you tell someone about your goal, it becomes real. Not only can they help hold you accountable, but they can also cheer you on and provide support when you hit roadblocks. For example, if you’re training for a marathon, let a friend know. They might join you for a run or check in on your progress.
Sharing your goals can also inspire others. When you’re open about your aspirations and the steps you’re taking, you might encourage someone else to pursue their own dreams. It’s a win-win: you create a support system for yourself and become part of someone else’s success story.
How To Use Fear As A Guide
Fear has a way of stopping us in our tracks. It whispers, What if you fail? What if you’re not good enough? But what if we flipped the script? Instead of seeing fear as a stop sign, what if we viewed it as a guidepost—pointing us toward the things that matter most?
When you feel fear, it’s often because you’re on the edge of something important. Fear signals that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and into the realm of growth and possibility. The trick isn’t to eliminate fear—it’s to learn how to move with it.
Here’s how to use fear as a guide:
- Identify the Source: Ask yourself, What am I really afraid of? Often, it’s not the action itself but the potential for failure, judgment, or uncertainty that scares us. Naming the fear takes away some of its power.
- Reframe the Fear: Instead of thinking, I’m afraid of failing, try thinking, I’m afraid because this is new, but that means it’s important. Fear is often a sign that you’re pushing toward growth and meaningful change.
- Take the First Step: The longer you wait, the bigger fear becomes. Action is the antidote. Break the task down into the smallest possible step, and do it. Momentum builds courage.
- Visualise the Outcome: Imagine the best-case scenario. What happens if you succeed? Focus on that vision, and let it pull you forward.
- Remind Yourself of the Payoff: Growth doesn’t come from staying comfortable. Every big leap in life requires some fear. Trust that facing it is worth it.
Fear isn’t a barrier—it’s a beacon. It shines a light on the areas of your life where courage can lead to transformation. Next time you feel fear creeping in, ask yourself: What is this fear trying to teach me? You might just find it’s pointing you toward your next big opportunity.
The Regret Test: Will You Wish You’d Tried?
Imagine yourself 10 years from now, looking back on today. What would you regret more—failing at something or never trying at all?
Regret is a powerful motivator. Studies show that people regret the things they didn’t do far more than the things they tried and failed at. Why? Because failure teaches us lessons and makes us stronger, but inaction leaves us wondering, What if?
If you’re hesitating to take a big leap, try using the Regret Test:
- Visualise your future self. Imagine looking back at this decision from the perspective of your older, wiser self.
- Ask yourself: Will I be proud that I gave this a shot, no matter the outcome?
Chances are, your future self will thank you for being brave enough to try.
Life’s biggest rewards often lie on the other side of the risks we’re most afraid to take. If you’re standing at the edge of a decision, let this be your sign to leap.
3 Things I’m Grateful For This Week
- Reconnected with friends I hadn’t seen in six years, who I studied overseas with.
- Seeing my grandma with my son was so special, especially since my grandpa, who passed away last year, didn’t get the chance to meet him.
- Grateful to my mum for organising a surprise birthday party in the Netherlands (even though it’s no longer a surprise, as she had to tell me so I wouldn’t miss it while travelling).
What are you grateful for this week?
